Tuesday, February 09, 2010

My Daughter is Unique

My daughter is her own person. She will grow up to be her unique self. This is true with any child, special or not.

A big mistake that parents sometimes make is to compare their children to others. Today I found myself comparing my daughter to someone else's.

I felt sad because the other babies her age were already cooing and smiling meanwhile my daughter would only cry, make grunting sounds and squeaky noises. She would not even really look at me and we have not seen her flash us a smile to let us know that she knows we're there. She would not visually track objects, and her eye contact was brief and inconsistent (which means not quite making eye contact after all). I felt pity for her and for myself.

I told my husband about this and to try and cheer me up he goes...

"Our daughter may not coo or smile or make eye contact just yet... but it seems like the squeaky noises she makes is a form of communication... much like echolocation. Talk about talent!"

I should not compare my daughter. Not to other children her age, not to how her brother was when he was her age, and not even to other special needs children her age. She will be her own person with her own set of skills and talents and strengths and weaknesses... with her own temperament and demeanor and attitude. She will grow up into a unique person that will just find her way deeper into our hearts.

She will wow us away.... and we will cheer on and find joy with every milestone she makes in her own unique perfect pace and timing.

I can't wait.


Lauren said...

Great post! Glad you stumbled upon Knowing Norrah. Got your email and would be happy to discuss any questions you have! You can either email them to me at knowingnorrah@gmail.com or enter them into the right hand menu of our blog and I will post about them. :)

Do you have facebook? There are tons of mothers that I could hook you up with if you would like!

Also check out the right sidebar of our blog for lots of other little ones too! I am adding Miss Isabella to our growing list of bloggy WHS babes! Cannot wait to hear more about your daughter, see some more adorable pictures and get in touch with you.

Melissa and Luke Young said...

HI, I too am a mother of a WHS child. My Ellie is 17 months old, and I completelt get the sadness that you felt when you compared your child to others. This is something that has taken me a very long time to stop doing, and I occasionally find myself doing it every now and then... it is nly natural. But I have come to realise that Ellie will do things when she is ready, and at her own pace... and this just means that we celebrate the smallest things... like a smile : )

I too have a blog, and It helps... it lets me celebrate ELlie acheivments with others and also lets me let out my frustrations without being judged... I would love for you to follow ellie blog, just as I will follow yours.

Cant wait to share your journey with you.

Take care, Mel

mgcatiis said...

@lauren: I do have facebook... my email add is isdadoinks@yahoo.com. i would love to get in touch with other WHS parents. Thank you Lauren!

@ Ellie: yes, i will follow your blog too.

This is great! I am meeting a network of other WHS parents!

Lauren said...

Oh my - you have not seen anything yet. We will hook you up on facebook. The parents are awesome... you will have several WHS friends in no time!

Kisses4Kaylee said...

I am in your shoes; my daughter Kaylee is only 3 weeks old. We learned of her diagnosis just a little over a week ago. However, I am not new to parenting a child with special needs-- I have an 11 year old with Autism and other learning challenges, as well. I know how hard it is when you allow yourself to compare your child to others. For 11 years, I have watched myself struggle with Amanda's development-- even my younger niece is more advanced than she. It is so hard not to compare children as it is the benchmark by which we determine what areas need the most focus when determining therapy and activity needs. I know that I will be guilty of making comparisons between Kaylee and other WHS children. I have to remind myself every day that she will write her own book, and that it doesn't matter when she hits her milestones-- just to have confidence that one day she will. It is hard-- our diagnosis is so fresh that I still have not found complete acceptance in the situation. I, too, started a blog to get out my feelings and share in our story. I hope to share in this journey together with you; we can find strength in one another. The women in this WHS group are amazing; I wouldn't be here writing today if I hadn't found Lauren, Jessica, and so many of the others who offer me daily reassurance that the sun will shine again. :-)