We were excited but at the same time we weren't sure if we were ready. We want her to come home but we don't know if we were equipped to handle this.
My daughter was 4lbs when we brought her home. There was still no diagnosis other than her having "multiple congenital anomalies", and she still has not gained her birth weight back but with the help of vitamins and the iron and the sodium bicarbonate medicine (for her renal issues), Im sure it will only be a matter time. Days before the NICU discharge the NICU nurse and the OT already trained us on feeding her. We were taught how to put in a Nasograstic tube (NG Tube), how to feed her with the NG tube, how to hold the baby and feed her with the special feeding bottle for babies with a cleft palate. We were sent home with cans of her special formula, bottles of her medicine, extra NG tubes, syringes, and adhesive strips. The NICU team did try to prepare us for this big day but inspite of the preparations, I was still feeling very uncertain. Afterall, I was not going to bring home a regular normal baby... I was going to bring home a baby that needs special care. The moment we left the hospital we will be by ourselves and we will not have the support and help of the NICU staff. They did not give us a "manual" for this... I would have read it.
There was also a feeling of fear because the moment I bring her home, it will all become more real.
Bringing her home was not the only surprise we had that day... when the audiologist did the newborn hearing test, my daughter did not pass for both ears. (What diffrence would another rock being thrown at me make? Bad news does not really surprise me anymore.)
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