a NEW year

This past year was a whirlwind of sorts for our family. We went through moments of grief, of sadness, of fear, of doubt, of weakness, and a long period where our faith has been tested. Nonetheless, through the help of God and our relentless holding on to our faith, we were able to rise above the challenges that the past year has brought.

It was around this time last year when my Isabella was freshly diagnosed... a dark time in my life that I never thought I would have recovered from. It is with shame that I admit that i felt defeated, hopeless... lifeless. But... as the saying goes, "Time heals all wounds".... and I would have to say that this saying has a ring of truth to it. However, I found myself identifying with a less popular saying than the one aforementioned, and that is this... "Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue". And here I am, a year after, not yet fully recovered, but I am proud to say that I am on a positive path of recovering. I feel much more stronger, and I am looking forward to this coming year because it just feels really promising, and that in itself is a gift.

We've learned valuable lessons this year... we've learned how to find cheer in the midst of the noise and chaos, we've learned how to find joy in the littlest of gifts, and we've learned to let go of trying to have control over things. Most improtantly we learned about a deeper level of trust that I believe is called true "faith".

We have been blessed by having the support of a lot of people that prayed for us, and encouraged us, and despite the rocky moments of 2010, my family and I have found that this year has been a very fruitful year, for it made us better people.... it made us who we are today.

Happy New Year everyone!

Eloi: "Don't worry Nanay, I will take care of Isay when I get older."

Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero. ~Marc Brown



"...and your grief shall be turned into JOY!"

John 16:20

Isabella's First Year

I cannot believe that Isabella is a year old. Time flew when my son was an infant, especially since you measure a baby's first year of life in terms of weeks and months.... seeing how different each week is for the first three months since birth and how each month is soo different than the last for the succeeding ones. Though I cannot especially say the same thing with my Isay, time essentially did flew by even if developmentally she has been in the 0 to 3 month range for quite some time now... this time though it was measured by the many medical appointments we've been to, the many therapy sessions we’ve attended, and the many specialists that we have discussed things with... most importantly seeing how one day, no matter how eye straining-ly small it is, is different from the last.

I can say that it has been an individually unique experience raising each of my children, and Isabella has been one that has stretched the limits of what we have come to understand on this lifetime.


Isabella currently weighs about 12.5 lbs. She eats semi solids food and can tolerate about 30 mls of food per feeding and then we give her about 50mls of formula. Even with the cleft repair, she still is volume sensitive and throw ups happen about 1-2 times a day, and sporadically, we would be blessed with none. Her current development has not changed much since the 11^th month update. She was able to regain the skill of sitting with minimal support from an adult and/or the sitting with her supporting herself with her arms. She can tolerate supporting herself while in a sitting position much longer now. Her repertoire of sounds now includes shrieks on occasion, and, unfortunately, we still have not heard her do a “ba-ba-ba” or a “ma-ma-ma”. Lately, when she is put on her belly and she pushes herself up, she wiggles her feet and she pivots her body, though it may seem unintentional, eventually she will most likely make her body pivot to face where she wants to go. I'm hoping that by this same time next year, I can say that my daughter is already crawling.

As I wonder what the next year would bring my daughter, I find myself in a place of HOPE. I hope that life will be kind to her, and that she will continually grow beautifully, and that she will be truly happy, but most of all… that she will feel loved… because she is.

To read on Isabella's previous developmental update, click here