You know how when something does not work for you or you don’t like something you were told, taught and raised to say “No” to it.
To refuse it.
Or to be an agent of change when the situation you are in isn’t ideal.
It is when you get older that you realize that there are things that you cannot change because it beyond your control… maybe even perhaps beyond changing… and so you just have to accept it. When you get older somebody or something (or your own realization perhaps) suggests it is YOU that need to be changed (your perspective) when you are challenged with things that seem unchangeable… or ARE unchangeable…
But nobody really tells you about the process that this entails…. Becoming the chang-er to being the change-ee is not an easy transition.
At first I think it would feel just like the struggle and battle with the pull of an undertow…. you somehow give up and let the tide just eat you, but then the mere act of the letting go is actually what saves you and you find yourself on the surface of the water… tired, wet, disheveled, but alive and breathing nonetheless.
This is why coming out of that sate of denial, anger, and grief is a tough journey… and you still often find yourself in places questioning where you are at.
While acceptance does not necessarily mean you’re happy…. That place where you realize that you’ve learned to go with the flow is a step into the right direction.
1 comment:
I so much wish we lived closer. I wish I had you as a friend. I real one, I mean, one, I could go have coffee with, and talk. Somehow you manage to put into words my deepest feelings, and I like that so much.
You are right. It's not an easy journey. But the transformation is worthed. Almost like becoming a butterfly, you enjoy the sun, the air, the view, in such a different and more pleasurable way. Yes, you are quite vulnerable still, but you get that thrill from the flight that is so worthed.
Big hug to you.
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