Thursday, June 24, 2010

Projectile Puking

I'm guessing that puking is part of the parenting package. At least for this (referring to me) parent's package.

 I remember when my son was a baby, he would throw up a lot… and I do mean, A LOT!

He even knows when the most opportune throwing up time is (i swear he can induce a barf at will)… such as that one time that we were in a restaurant… he would have a coughing spell that sounds like he was choking even if he was not, then throw up immediately after. And he would do this just as two elderly ladies are ogling him. How lovely!

Another time he chose to throw up at a restaurant, and he did this right before we were about to leave… just when we thought we were going to be spared from embarrassment, he did it, right there, with an audience. The waiter came and had to mop our area suppressing his own urge to barf, meanwhile we were scrounging for all the bills and cash we have so we can at least leave the poor guy a decent tip.

Another “favorite”, was when we went to a buffet and in the middle of our all you can eat dinner, my son decided to entice us with what he had for dinner. In the middle of our meal, of course, we lost our appetite. We cleaned up his puke-mater as much as we can, with the very limited paper towels we had on our table, threw the soiled paper in the trash, and cover the left over mess with the table napkin. We left the restaurant just walking straight to the door not daring to look back. We did leave $30 for whoever was bound to discover the sordid “surprise” we left. How embarrassing!

It was at that time that my husband and I realized that date night would have to be put on hold… at least until Eloi can manage to keep his food down.

I never really understood why he had this affinity for not digesting his food all the way. It baffles me to this day.

And now, enter my little Isabella.

It was understandable that she would puke when she had her NG tube, it was also understandable that she would puke when the food came down too fast in her G tube. And since feeding issues come with her syndorme, her puking was something, shall I say, predicted… something expected. No stress, no judgment, just something accepted as a regular part our everyday life. And since we’ve had all that puking practice in the past, we’ve become, shall I say, (ehem, ehem) experts at this puke business. We made certain that she would always have extra clothes, that we have a roll of paper towel, that we would give her food in parts, and have extra shirts for me, my husband and Eloi packed together with her diapers. We were always armed and ready for the barf battle.

Bring it on!

This afternoon though…. In the comfort and confines of my home, whilst Isabella was sitting on my lap and we were having coo conversations…. I was caught unguarded, and the projectile puke came from out of the blue, shooting from out of her nose and went right into my open mouth!

The physics behind this projectile puking was just amazing! This sort of talent just blew me away… I mean literally… SHE BLEW AWAY ON ME!



Kisses4Kaylee said...

Oh gosh, I have to confess that I cracked up reading about Isabella's projectile puke. In fact, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time...thank you for sharing that story! xo

Kristy said...

Oh my, I probably would have puked right back at her - I have a weak stomache. This post made me laugh, thanks for sharing. :)

Hannah said...

Oh, how easily we can relate. Riley has been a puker literally from day one. Thankfully, things are FINALLY settling down. But we also still have extra clothes for everyone in the car and burp rags tucked everywhere in our house.